30 days to the job you love - Day 11

With 200,000+ tech layoffs in 2023 and more being let go in early 2024, it is easy to get discouraged. Personally, I have many friends who were and are affected. For those whom I worked with, I am grateful that our paths crossed.

For 30 days, I will post a tip each day to encourage you and give you some suggestions on how to stay motivated during your job search.

Day 11

Replaying a past event in our head can be more painful than the event itself, especially when it comes to being let go from a company. For days, weeks or even months after it happened, we may still be replaying how the news was delivered and what was said. Losing a job is like being hit with an arrow unexpectedly. The first arrow caused us lots of pain. And, each time we replay the event, we experience the hurt all over again. It is like being hit with a second arrow. While the first arrow is beyond our control, whether we should be hit again is a choice. When we repeatedly replay a bad event in our head, we add pain and suffering to the original wound, thus making it harder to heal.

How do we deal with a situation that has already passed? The past is unchangeable, and there is no point dwelling on it. Rather than questioning and overthinking it, we can take a mindful approach. By observing our emotions and thoughts, we can control our response and actions towards it. When we feel strong negative emotions rising, we can redirect our focus to our breath. Our breaths serve as an anchor to help us calm negative emotions and bring us back to the present moment. Let’s take a moment to breathe and be present. When breathing in and out, we pay attention to the in-breath and the out-breath while reciting the Gatha below.

“Breathing in, I know I’m breathing in
Breathing out, I know I’m breathing out
Breathing in, my in-breath grows deep
Breathing out, my out-breath goes slow

Breathing in, I calm my body
Breathing out, I smile
Dwelling in the present moment
I know it’s a wonderful moment.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh

The past is gone, the future is not yet here, but we have the present moment. It's an opportunity to control our actions, to learn from the past and be constructive for the future. Let's not stab ourselves with the second arrow.

Marcus Aurelius said, “It’s time you realized that you have something in you more powerful and miraculous than the things that affect you and make you dance like a puppet.”

Our breath is always present, powerful, and miraculous. It's the anchor that can help us stop the habitual energy of self-inflicted pain. When we stop, we can rest, recover, and gain clarity to decide how to move forward. Let's choose to let go of the pain and move forward towards a brighter future.