30 days to the job you love - Day 22

With 200,000+ tech layoffs in 2023 and more being let go in early 2024, it is easy to get discouraged. Personally, I have many friends who were and are affected. For those whom I worked with, I am grateful that our paths crossed.

For 30 days, I will post a tip each day to encourage you and give you some suggestions on how to stay motivated during your job search.

Day 22

Expressing thoughts and emotions about job loss can be challenging, especially after experiencing it firsthand. In the past months, I've been focusing on sharing insights about coping with job loss and maintaining a positive outlook. My expertise lies in engineering, leadership and personal development coaching, rather than career counseling. However, the prevalent job losses among my close circle, including myself, have prompted me to delve into this topic. Losing a job, regardless of mental preparedness, can be emotionally devastating, especially when one has invested their heart and soul into their work. 

Personal Struggle

In the immediate aftermath of losing my job, I found myself devoid of energy, despite believing I was mentally prepared for this scenario. The emotional toll was overwhelming, leading to days spent in tears, reminiscing about colleagues, and fretting over unfinished projects. The profound attachment to my job and the people I worked with intensified the impact of the loss. Although I outwardly claimed to be fine, the truth was that I struggled to carry on normal activities, unable to eat or sleep.  At one point, I found myself confiding in my husband about the insurmountable pain I was experiencing, unsure of how to overcome it.

Seeking Solace

In an attempt to find solace, I turned to my "rescue" place – a Zen monastery. My journey with meditation has spanned over two decades, and I have consistently turned to this practice as a source of solace and strength. This "rescue" place has been a cornerstone in my life, serving as a sanctuary where I seek refuge during moments of emotional upheaval. Its tranquil surroundings and the practice of meditation have been instrumental in guiding me through various trials, offering a sense of calm and clarity amidst life's challenges.

Here, amidst the tranquility of nature, I immersed myself in meditation. Fortunately for me, they had a retreat the same weekend.  The retreat began with a familiar yet forgotten story shared by the teacher, involving salt and water.

In the story, a teacher holds up a cup of water and adds several tablespoons of salt to it. He then asks whether the water is still drinkable, to which the response is "No." The teacher then poses the question of what would happen if the same amount of salt were added to a river or a well. It becomes evident that the large volume of water in the river or well would dilute the salt, rendering it drinkable.

The essence of the story lies in the analogy of the salt representing emotions and the water symbolizing one's capacity to hold those emotions. Instead of attempting to rid the water of the salt, which is impossible, the focus shifts to enlarging the water. By expanding one's capacity, just like the river diluting the salt, it becomes possible to accommodate and transform challenging emotions, thereby fostering resilience and emotional strength.

Healing through Mindfulness

Engaging in prolonged periods of meditation, I initially struggled with persistent thoughts about the circumstances surrounding my job loss. Whenever my mind wandered away, I would bring its attention back to my breathing, using the following verses: “Breathing in, I know I’m breathing in.  Breathing out, I know I’m breathing out.”  Through focused breathing and mindfulness, I gradually anchored myself in the present moment, allowing the pain to coexist with an expanding sense of resilience.

Hours spent in silent contemplation, immersed in nature's beauty, gifted me with a newfound appreciation for the profound blessings inherent in the present moment. Simple things like the blue sky, the birds chirping, the green grass, the gentle wind, the sunshine, and my own breaths, are blessings and wonders on earth. 

The process of enlarging my capacity to endure and transform suffering became a pivotal facet of my healing journey. Like the analogy of the cup of water and the river, I came to realize that it is possible to expand one's ability to contain pain and adversity, ultimately transforming them into sources of strength and growth.

To those currently grappling with job loss, I empathize with the overwhelming nature of this experience. However, I urge you to remember that, like water in the cup and the river, you possess the inherent capacity to expand your resilience and transform hardship into resilience and fortitude.

In sharing this deeply personal journey, my hope is to inspire others to find solace and resilience as they navigate the challenging terrain of job loss and recovery.

"One day, four children were playing at my Sweet Potato hermitage in France. Thanh Thuy, a four-year-old girl I was looking after, was among them. The children were thirsty, so I offered them each a glass of homemade apple juice. Thanh Thuy did not like the look of the cloudy juice and refused to drink it. She ran off to play but came back after a while and asked for water. I showed her the apple juice and urged her to drink it. She saw the pulp had settled, and the juice now looked clear and delicious. “Is this the same glass or a different one?” she asked. “Was it meditating like you?” I laughed. “Let’s say I am like the apple juice when I sit. That is closer to the truth.” If you know how to sit stably and follow your in-breath and out-breath, then after some time you become peaceful and clear, like the apple juice." – Thich Nhat Hanh (Mindfulness Essentials)

“With mindfulness, you can establish yourself in the present in order to touch the wonders of life that are available in that moment.” – Thich Nhat Hanh