30 days to the job you love - Day 6

With 200,000+ tech layoffs in 2023 and more being let go in early 2024, it is easy to get discouraged. Personally, I have many friends who were and are affected. For those whom I worked with, I am grateful that our paths crossed.

For 30 days, I will post a tip each day to encourage you and give you some suggestions on how to stay motivated during your job search.

Day 6

The first few days after losing a job can be tough. We experience strong emotions that can be overwhelming. It's important to take care of ourselves during these times, just as we would care for a hurting child. 

When a child is hurt, we hug and comfort them, find out what caused the hurt, and address it so they can get better. We then redirect their attention to something else, like singing a song, reading a book, or going for a walk. 

Similarly, ignoring or pushing away our emotions won't work. Our strong emotions are like a hurting child, crying for our attention. 

Here are 4 steps to follow when we feel overwhelmed with emotions: 

Step 1: Calm the emotion. Practice belly breathing for 15 minutes to calm down. When we observe a tree during a storm, we see that its branches sway back and forth in the wind. However, if we look at the trunk of the tree, we see that its trunk is stable. By bringing our attention to our belly, which is like the trunk of a tree, we can calm our emotions. Take a deep breath in and out, noticing our belly rising and lowering. Breathe in deeply and breathe out slowly. Repeat this again and again. During this practice, if your mind wanders back to the strong emotions or the narratives around it, gently bring your attention back to the belly breathing. 

Step 2: Identify the emotion. What is it? Is it fear, anxiety, shame, or sadness? Once you identify your emotion, call it by its true name. For example: "Hello, Fear. I see you. Don't be fearful. I'm here to care for you." 

Step 3: Look deeply to understand the causes of the emotion so you can address it. Ask yourself, what is the root cause of your emotion? What can you do to mitigate this emotion? What are your options? For example: If you are sad because you miss your former colleagues, one option is to reach out to them and ask how they are doing. The survivor guilt is real. If they aren't directly impacted by the layoff, they likely feel guilty. As you are wondering "why me?", they are probably thinking "why aren't they?"

Step 4: Redirect your attention and release the emotion. Get up, go for a run or take a walk outdoors, turn on the music and dance. Physical movements help to release pent-up energy. 

Remember to treat yourself with care and kindness when experiencing strong emotions. By knowing how to care for these emotions, you will feel better over time. 

"Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor." – Thich Nhat Hanh