30 days to the job you love - Day 4

With 200,000+ tech layoffs in 2023 and more being let go in early 2024, it is easy to get discouraged. Personally, I have many friends who were and are affected. For those whom I worked with, I am grateful that our paths crossed.

For 30 days, I will post a tip each day to encourage you and give you some suggestions on how to stay motivated during your job search.

Day 4

Recently, my family went to a Zen monastery for a few days to welcome the new year. When we got there, I was exhausted, and it showed up on my face. After checking into our room, I sat on the floor, sullen. My daughter said to me, “Mom, smile.” Three key behaviors of mindfulness practice are to stop, to breathe, and to smile. Ironically, I was even wearing a t-shirt with the word “Smile” on it. Despite practicing mindfulness for many years and even after being reminded by my daughter, I couldn’t smile. I responded to her: “I’m too tired to smile.” She replied: “Mom, if you don’t smile, how can I smile? Please smile, mom.”

As parents, we know that our children are always watching us. They learn from how we respond to adversity. Losing a job can bring up a lot of emotions such as fear, shame, and doubt. Fear – “what if I can’t provide for my children.”  Shame – “if I was better, they wouldn’t have let me go.”  Doubt – “will I ever be able to find another job?”  Our children can sense our energy and emotions, and they will be able to pick up on our sadness and worries. It's important to remember that they don't often do what we say, but they will most likely do what we do. Let's involve them and show them how to handle adversity with grace and resilience.

If you are struggling with job loss and wondering how to talk to your children about it? Here are some ideas that may help:

1. Consider reading the book "Who Moved My Cheese" by Spencer Johnson and Ken Blanchard with your children. The fable about a mice community dealing with the loss of food can be a great starting point for discussing how to handle unexpected changes.
2. Depending on the ages of your children, have a family discussion about the situation. Share your thoughts on short-term plans, next steps, and ask for their ideas. It's important to let them know that job loss is a fact of life, and that everyone faces it at one point or another. Remind them that some famous people lost their jobs but came back stronger.
3. Look for the positive additions that come with more time at home. You can invest more time and energy in your children, helping with their homework, attending their recitals, and getting involved with the PTA. Spending more quality time with your children can create lasting memories.

Remember, there will always be obstacles in life, but how we deal with them is what matters. Stay positive and keep moving forward! How you persevere through this temporary phase of your life will be a testament to your children and help them deal with their own adversities in the future.

“I almost gave up.  Then I realized who was watching.” – Unknown